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A parody of "Something There" from Disney's Beauty and the Beast.
Original Music by Alan Menken
Original Lyrics by Howard Ashman
Parody Lyrics by Tony Goldmark and Kyle Kallgren


JERK: When Jean’s film ends
I just feel numb
He undercut the transformation, made it dumb
But Disney made
That end sublime
A worthy tribute to the tale as old as time

In Cocteau’s film
The lady Belle
Just out of pity for the Beast, in love she fell
In Disney’s film
They grew and learned
And thus, the love between La Belle and Beast was EARNED.

KYLE: The blending thoughts
The dueling fears
It’s not about the people, it’s about ideas!
The dream of life
Before you wake
It’s fiction calling itself fiction, give or take

JERK: Whyyyyyy would they steal a treasure
That would turn to dog shit in their hands?
KYLE: Tryyyyyyy to look past mere pleasure
See, they symbolize short-sighted greed, and its demands

JERK: I'm very lost
KYLE: I know you are
JERK: The plot has holes
KYLE: Just try to think
JERK: She's crying diamonds - is her head made out of coal?
KYLE: You just don't get it, this brilliant film is not a chore
JERK: This stupid film is such a chore
KYLE: It's just the logic of a dream and nothing more
JERK: I get eight hours of that for free each time I snore
KYLE: It's just the logic of a dream and nothing more...


from Brows Held High: Beauty and the Beast, released September 26, 2014
(In order of appearance)
TONY GOLDMARK as Some Jerk With A Camera




Tony Goldmark Los Angeles, California

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